Someone Like You
by emackenzie
Summary: Changed my mind.  It's going to be three or four shots.  Jude's 21st birthday changes everything.
1. Someone Like You

This song has been staring me in the face for along time, its by Adele, and if you can youtube it, its heartbreaking and wonderful. It just about broke my heart to write this, I'm a girl, we all want a happy ending, but in reality, very few get that ending. I hope you enjoy!

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><p>"Jude, can you hear me? Are you even listening?" Sadie questioned through the phone, worried leaking into her tone.<p>

Jude nodded her head silently. She didn't need her sister to call her with this news, it was on the cover of tabloid worldwide, that's how it had found her in London at her favorite coffee stand just down the street from her label. His face, those haunting blue grey eyes, staring back at her, as though they were trying to tell her something.

"Yeah, Sadie, sorry." She whispered back into the phone, unsure of where her voice and strength had gone.

"You don't have to come home, I'll come there this year." Sadie was quick, she was rambling off flights she could easily book, she could be on a plane that same day if her sister wanted.

"No." Jude protested, tearing her eyes away from the picture. "We're not changing these plans, it's my 21st birthday, I want to spend it in Toronto." He had already taken so much from her over the years, she couldn't bear to give this to him as well, not this birthday.

"Are you sure?" Sadie questioned.

"I'll see you at the end of the week." It was all she could say before ending the call with her sister. It was all her mind would allow.

_I heard  
>That you're settled down<br>That you  
>Found a girl<br>And you're  
>Married now<em>

It was like a movie, everything in the air had suddenly changed, the cold winter air was snapping harder at her exposed skin, turning her nose an even brighter shade of pink. She wanted to bury herself even farther in the scarf warped around her neck, but all she could do was shove her hands farther into her pockets and hold her breath. She hadn't been back long enough, she hadn't even finished processing this information. But there he was, walking towards her on the nearly empty street, the woman by his side. She could no longer process anything, because now it was real.

She could feel herself catch her own breath when his caught hers. She didn't want to look at those eyes, the ones that she use to see herself in, she didn't have the right to look at them anymore.

"Jude?" he questioned as they approached each other.

She forced herself to smile. He deserved this, he deserved to be happy. But she felt stiff as he hugged her, laughing to himself.

"Wow, I didn't even know you were back in town." He commented.

Jude nodded her head softly, trying to keep her expression from turning sad as she eyed the woman next to him. Her burnet hair was hidden under a hat, but Jude could tell that it had a natural wave to it, and even though she wanted to think the girl plain, there was nothing plain about her. Her warm brown eyes matched her olive skin, and her legs seemed longer than normal, but Jude knew it was due to the high heeled boots the woman wore. The woman next to him, in what use to be her spot, was gorgeous.

"I'm only back for awhile." Jude commented. She didn't want to say anything about her birthday, not this birthday. She knew that Sadie had already put a ban on anyone playing that song, even though Jude could still hear it in her mind. She made a mental note that she would never again write a song that included her age. "Visiting Sadie and my dad and the guys."

"Oh, sorry." He looked over at the woman next to him and smiled lovingly, it was sickening to Jude. "Lilly this is Jude, Jude this is Lilly." He had never been good at introductions, especially when it was between the woman in his life.

"It's nice to finally meet you," Lilly smiled, shaking her hand.

She wanted to die, right there, she wanted to back up and run away, but she couldn't. She had done this, she had left and she had known that at some point this moment would happen, but she had always hoped it would never happen. "Yeah." She didn't know what else to say. She knew nothing of this woman other than what she had seen on the cover at the tabloids. She had stolen his heart, she had married him. The ring on her polished hands wouldn't stop screaming for attention. "I really should be going, Speid is waiting for me." It was a lie, no one was waiting for her.

"Yeah, it was really good to see you again." He smiled at her, and she had to look away from his eyes, because she could feel her heart breaking. As he went in to hug her again, she stepped to the side quickly, shaking her head.

"Bye Quincy." She whispered, before hurrying past them, feeling the warm tears turn instantly cold on her cheeks.

_I heard  
>That your dreams came true.<br>Guess she gave you things  
>I didn't give to you<em>

"I just don't understand." Jude told Sadie. "I didn't even know he was dating."

"I wish I had answers for you." Sadie sighed, knowing it was hard for her.

"How'd they meet?" she knew Sadie knew more than she was telling her.

"At G Major, it was through Global Instant Star, she was doing a photo shoot." Sadie explained what she could, gently knowing that it was slowly ripping at her heart.

"Two months?" Jude raised her eyebrow at Sadie, it had only taken him two months to meet someone else? Jude had been living in London, traveling the world, doing tours for nearly two years and she hadn't meet anyone, not that she had put enough of herself out there to try.

"They didn't get together right away." Sadie shook her head.

"I guess she gave him things I couldn't." she couldn't look at her sister when she said that. The one thing that Jude hadn't given him was her hand in marriage, everything else about her belonged to him, and even now, she still felt like she belonged to him. She knew that at some point she would have married him, but she needed to do some of her own living before she could do that. But had taken too long, and he had found someone else.

_Old friend  
>Why are you so shy?<br>Ain't like you to hold back  
>Or hide from the light<em>

She didn't want to be alone in the room with him, it was uncomfortable, and she could feel every part of her body tingling as she looked back at him, knowing he was just as uncomfortable.

"I thought Sadie was here." She whispered, looking around the office.

"Yeah, so did I." he sighed, taking a step back towards the door. "I'll go."

"No!" she protested. "It's fine." She gave him a small soft smile. "So a wedding." Casual conversation, she could do that.

He only nodded her head, not meeting her gaze.

"That's good, good for you." Jude didn't know what to say, and he didn't seem to have anything to offer either. She could feel the walls around her closing in on them, making it harder for her to breath, and when she did breath she could taste him, his cologne filled the air, making her head dizzy with old memories. "I-I-I'll just leave her a message." She muttered and stumbled over her words, before pushing past him quickly, escaping from the room.

_I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited  
>But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.<br>I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded  
>That for me it isn't over<em>

'What are you doing?' she asked herself that a million times as she drove to his town house. She must have lost her mind, she couldn't have been thinking straight, she couldn't. And that moment she saw his confused expression on the other side of the door was the moment she knew she had made her biggest mistake.

"Jude?" he asked looking at her. It was late, too late for visitors.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking." She was scared. She had been scared ever since she had seen his picture, since Sadie had told her.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"I couldn't sleep, I couldn't do anything but think, and it was driving me mad." She sighed, looking up at him, pulling her sweater tighter around her. She hated the cold air, only because it seemed to match the look he was giving her.

She never should have come back.

_Never mind  
>I'll find someone like you<br>I wish nothing but the best for you too  
>"Don't forget me," I begged<br>"I'll remember," you said  
>"Sometimes it lasts in love<br>But sometimes it hurts instead."  
>Sometimes it lasts in love<br>But sometimes it hurts instead,  
>Yeah.<em>

"Why are you doing this?" he groaned in frustration, his tone only made her feel worse.

She didn't want to do this, it would make letting him go final, and break the rest of her heart. But it was the only thing she could do. With the tears rolling down her cheeks, she looked up at him one last time. She walked slowly over to him, he was standing in the middle of his living room, looking more than frustrated with her. She could feel the sob slowly building in her stomach, reaching her throat, making her body feel tight and closed off. She placed one hand on his shoulder, and reached up and kissed his lips one last time, feeling his own hot tears mix with hers.

His lips were warm one hers, and she could taste their salty tears. But the kiss was heart breaking, because it was her last. "Don't forget me." Her plea was whispered, as her sob threaten to escape. She turned away quickly, and among the soft sound her heels made on the hard wood floor she heard his whispered answer.

"I'll remember."

_You know how the time flies  
>Only yesterday<br>It was the time of our lives  
>We were born and raised<br>In a summer haze  
>Bound by the surprise<br>Of our glory days_

In the house that was once her home, she stared back at the picture that seemed to be taunting her. Her relationship with Tom Quincy was a short lived one, and that photo was proof. How long had they really been together? A few months at the most, one simple summer that started the end for them. But when she meet him, so many years ago, that was really the beginning of the end, for her at least.

Her figures traced along the faces in the picture. His eyes focused on nothing but her, and his smile was one that she loved, one she had missed and longed for. But now it belonged to someone else. There was a new look he had, a look for a girl that wasn't her. She chuckled sadly as she thought about it. That summer had flown by, and he had only been there for the start of it. She could remember laying in the woods somewhere, just enjoying the feeling of him next to her, the way his heart would pound louder when she would smile at him.

Before he had always tried to tell her that she was to young, and that there was so much more out there for her. But she didn't fully understand his words until now, as she looked at that picture, the one that was of their glory days. She had been so young and so naive, even though she swore she was mature. She was none the wiser about what was taking place. All he had wanted so many years ago was for her to grow up.

_I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited  
>But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.<br>I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded  
>That for me it isn't over.<em>

"Why would you go and see him?" Sadie asked brushing the tears from her sister's eyes. "I thought you said you were okay with it, that you were over him."

"I wanted to be, I want to be over him so bad Sadie." Jude could feel a new wave of sobs coming. "But I'm not, it's not over for me, and I don't know if it ever will be." She knew it could never be over for her. Since the moment she had meet Tom Quincy when she was 15, that was it, it had sealed her fate and locked her heart. Every relationship she had, or even tried to had was short lived, because she couldn't fully give herself to anyone, because she hadn't had her own heart since she sat at the pier with him.

She broken down in her sisters arms, feeling herself fall apart for the first time in a long time. It was scary to think that he still had this much power over her, this much control.

_Never mind  
>I'll find someone like you<br>I wish nothing but the best for you too  
>"Don't forget me," I begged<br>"I'll remember," you said  
>"Sometimes it lasts in love<br>But sometimes it hurts instead."_

"If you see him, you remember what you're going to say?" Sadie coached. She hadn't liked the idea of bringing Jude to G Major, but the sisters had been out shopping for the upcoming holiday when Sadie had been called in to sign some papers.

"I wish him the best of luck." Jude nodded looking out the window. It had been days since she had got to see him, days since she had allowed herself to cry. She was going to pick up the pieces of her heart again because that was all she could do. It was time that she actually tried to move on. He had done it, and now she needed to.

_Nothing compares  
>No worries or cares<br>Regrets and mistakes  
>They are memories made.<br>Who would have known  
>How bittersweet this would taste?<em>

Like all of Jude's other parties this one wasn't just about her birthday. She would never willing get this dressed up to celebrate her own birth. She would have rather gone to dinner, hung out at the rehearsal space with her friends, she would have rather ran away, somewhere the news wouldn't find her.

But she stood in front of a crowd of people, wearing the long silky black dress he stylist had sent for her. It was cut low, way down past her breasts, but she could feel the tape stuck to both her skin at the dress that kept it from revealing what she wanted covered. She could feel her hair tickle her almost bare back every time she turned her head, and the simple pearl necklace weighted heavy around her neck. When they asked what she wanted to look like, all she said was classic, and she had achieved more than a classic look.

"You look more than amazing." Jamie whispered in her ear, going to escort her away from the press. They had never been apart on her birthday, even when she had gone to London they had still spent it together.

"When I'm old, just take me out for dinner." She gave him a smile, even though she knew she wasn't truly happy, she was trying to enjoy her birthday.

"Did you pick a song to sing tonight?" Jamie asked, as they glanced around the room.

She shook her head. "I'm not singing." She sighed. "I think I'm ready for a break." It was hard to say, but it was time.

"Jude Harrison, taking a break from singing?" Jamie questioned, he could see the sadness in his friend's eyes, it was something he had seen building over the years, even before she had left for London it had been there.

"It's just time." She forced a smile. "I think I've got one last song." She whispered when she saw him enter the room, the woman on his arm.

"Happy Birthday, Jude." Lilly smiled at her, but Jude found it harder to smile back.

"Thank you." She forced herself, looking towards the stage as her sister called for their attention.

"I just want to thank everyone for coming tonight, and for helping my baby sister celebrate her birthday." Jude had begged her and everyone she knew not to say it was her 21st birthday. She knew other people would say it, but she didn't want to hear them say it. "I'm so proud of her. So please help me welcome her to the stage."

Everyone applauded her, and Jamie walked her to the stairs. It took her a moment to adjust to the spotlight, feeling its heat on her. "Thank you, thank you all." She smiled out, trying not to look at him but his eyes seemed to call her name. "Most of you are expecting me to sing." She knew this was the only time she could announce this, and get away with it. None of her family for friends would questions her decision right away, and she still had enough time that everyone in London would have time to cool down before her returned. "But I don't have a song tonight." She could hear the sounds of disappointment trickle through the people. "I have actually decided that it's time for a break from singing. Maybe time to try something different." She could see the shock and confusion on everyone's face, and mainly in her eyes, they almost seemed to change color when she said that. "But thank you all for coming to help me celebrate." She couldn't say anymore, she didn't have anything left to say.

_Never mind  
>I'll find someone like you<br>I wish nothing but the best for you too  
>"Don't forget me," I begged<br>"I'll remember," you said  
>"Sometimes it lasts in love<br>But sometimes it hurts instead"_

She had escaped the party after her announcement, and he had found her hiding in their old studio, studio A.

"Not singing anymore, is that even possible?" he questioned, turning on the intercom.

She turned in the chair, looking through the glass at him. There had always been something keeping them apart, and this was what it normally was, the thin, sound proof glass. But now she felt like it was shielding her from one that just outside noise, but from the pain.

"It's time." She nodded sadly. She had always known at some point she would take a break, but she didn't think it would be because of how badly he had broken her. She reached out and ran her fingers across the guitar, thinking about the lyrics that explained this part of her life.

"I find that part to believe." He whispered.

She watched him for a moment, and remembered the birthday she had spent with him, the things that would stay buried in their past. "Did you get me a present this year, Quincy?" she tried to joke, but her voice cracked, leaking her sadness into it.

"What do you get the girl that has almost everything?" he asked, a line he used before.

She gave a soft chuckle, there were so many things she could have said to that, but there was only one thing she wanted now. "One last time." She asked reaching for the head phones. "One last song." She could feel the soft tear roll, she knew he saw it before she could brush it away.

"One last song." He nodded, and went to work on the sound board.

_Never mind  
>I'll find someone like you<br>I wish nothing but the best for you too  
>"Don't forget me," I begged<br>"I'll remember," you said  
>"Sometimes it lasts in love<br>But sometimes it hurts instead"_

To her it was perfect, every word was perfect because every word describe everything she had been through, everything she had thought. She would find someone else, someone like him, she had too because he had found someone new.

"Jude." He protested at her words as she spoke the last line of the song.

The way he said her name, like he had said it a million times before, made her heart sting, and the tears that had pooled up, fall.

"No." she shook her head, knowing that he had left the soundboard; she heard the door click close.

"Jude." He said it again, and it made her angry. She didn't want to hear him say her name, it hurt too much.

"No." she said form firmly this time, feeling him in front of her. She wanted to turn away from him when his hands cupped her face, his thumbs brushing her tears away. "Please, don't." she whispered, looking into his eyes, she could see his own tears.

She needed to hurt, because she had hurt him, she had done this to him, to them. she had made the choice to leave him there, to follow her dreams without him. Her mind had been so closed that the time that she couldn't see that her dreams could change. She had put so much of herself into her music, but now, she wasn't sure if she could still be that rock star, because all she could feel was pain.

"I'll be happy for you, I promise, I just-" she stopped herself looking away, out the glass of the studio. "I need time." She whispered. She turned her head to get away from his touch, walking away from him. The small room was to full of them, of their past.

"Jude, I loved you." He whispered, trying to reach for her.

She nodded her head, and could feel her hand find the door knob in the dark room. Her final words to him would haunt her a lot longer than she wanted, but it was all she could say. "I know, and I love you." She tore her eyes away before leaving from the room as quickly as she could. It was like she sang, some love lasts, but this love, it hurts.

_Sometimes it lasts in love  
>But sometimes it hurts instead<em>


	2. Somebody Else

I tried, I really did try and just leave it as it was, but I couldn't. I'm a sucker for things ending the way I want, and because this isn't reality, I can write this and make it all okay. I get to create my own little world. So this part is from Lilly's POV based off the song The One I Love Belongs To Somebody Else by Ella Fitzgerald. It's a great song, sad, yet get.  
>I'm working on Tommy's POV, it's going to be a little longer, but I should have it done in a few days!<p>

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><p>She didn't want to go, but she knew that her place was next to him, and deep down she knew it was even more true with the fact that it was Jude Harrison's party. She knew better than to compare herself with the woman in Tommy's past, because it was a colorful one, but she was his future.<p>

They watched her announcement from where she had left them, and she could feel Tommy pull away with every word she spoke. It was hard to remember that this was her place when Tommy slipped away in the middle of the party. She had wanted to go and look for him, but she wasn't that girl. She wasn't jealous, not when she had the ring on her finger. She also wasn't the type of girl to stand around in a room of strangers and wait for him. She quickly made her excuses and left.

It was nearly 3 am by the time he made it back, and she was sitting in her living room, looking through a group of photos she had taken the week before. Like Tommy she loved her work, and she could easily bury herself in her photos.

"Did you just leave?" she asked, hearing him behind her.

"Yeah, I'm sorry, I just wanted to make sure you made it back. I'm going to head home." Tommy's voice sounded distance, almost like he wasn't even there.

"It's late." She said putting her things down, and turning to look at him, his tie was loosened and the top buttons of his shirt were undone. She could tell that his eyes were red and puff. She wanted to ask what was wrong, but she didn't want to push him. If he wanted to talk, he would. "Are you sure you don't want to stay?"

"No." he shook his head turning around. "I'll call you later." And with that he was gone, leaving her sitting on her living room floor.

_You know the one I love belongs to somebody else  
>He means his tender songs for somebody else<br>And even when he has his arms around me  
>I know his thoughts are strong for somebody else<em>

She never bought the tabloids; it was something that Tommy had asked her never to do. But now, sitting in her bedroom she looked down at the pictures laid about before her, the headlines, and the rumors.

The moment that Jude's announcement was made official, was the moment everything started to fall apart. She had never been on the other side of a camera before, but now it seemed like she was on a hit list of all of Jude's fans.

"This is ridiculous!" Lilly shouted towards the bathroom door, knowing Tommy could hear her. "I only met her twice, we hardly spoke."

"This is part of the life I have." Tommy said popping his head out of the door. "Don't think too much about it, they would say anything to sell a paper."

"But to say I'm the reason she's taking a break, quitting the music industry. It's not fair Tommy, our wedding has nothing to do with her." She wanted to cry. This was a lot scarier for her than Tommy seemed to understand. He was use to this, this was new to her.

"She's not quitting, she couldn't quit, not for anything." She could hear him but she was sure that he was talking to himself and not her. "Just stop reading those things, and don't worry about it." He shouted.

She knew he was trying to comfort her, but it wasn't working, she didn't feel any better about the cameras that followed them when they went out.

_The hands I hold belong to somebody else  
>I bet they're not so cold to somebody else<br>It's tough to be alone on a shelf, worse to fall in love by yourself  
>When the one you love belongs to somebody else<em>

She had been gone for almost a week, a photo shoot in New York had taken her away from planning her wedding. They wanted to have a spring wedding, something simple. She had chosen the church, and together they had come up with the guest list. There was so much that needed to be done, but she had no idea where to start. And Tommy had been too wrapped up in other things to be much help. In fact they had both been so busy that they had hardly been each other since the party.

She walked though the double doors of G Major and smiled at the woman behind the desk. She was one of the few people that always seemed more welcoming and warm towards her. She stopped when she saw the blond following Tommy out of her office, both people looking rather mad at each other.

"Leave her be!" Sadie snapped, reaching for his arm to stop him. Both of them were unaware of Lilly watching them.

"Sadie, you don't understand." Tommy ran his hand through his messy hair in frustration, rubbing his chin. "I just, I just need to see her." It was whisper of defeat.

Lilly was confused, she didn't know what they were talking about, but she knew it wasn't her. "Tommy?" she asked, drawing their attention to her.

"Hey." He quickly changed his expression, walking over to her. He gave her a hug and a kiss n the forehead, with a smile. "I didn't know you were coming back today."

"I wanted to surprise you, can you get away for lunch?" she asked, feeling the sense of safety wash over her once she felt Tommy's hands on her.

"Yeah, this is the perfect time. I was just getting ready to leave." He gave her a tight smile before looking over his shoulder at Sadie.

As the two slide into this viper Lilly without thought reached for the radio, turning up the song, only to be surprised to hear Tommy's voice. The only time she had heard him sing was when he was a part of Boyz Attack. But she noticed how his expression became tight. She slapped his hand away when he tried to turn it off.

"I want to hear this." She smiled listening to the words. Tommy had never sung for her, and she had always wanted him to write her a song, because she had watched over the years they were together how he would write songs about others, but never about her. Listening to this song, she let herself feel special, she allowed herself to think that it was about her.

_The man I love belongs to somebody else, somebody else  
>He means his tender songs for somebody else<br>And even when he has his arms around me  
>I know his thoughts are strong for somebody else<em>

She awoke in the middle of the night and instantly knew that the spot next to her was empty. She always felt uneasy about staying at Tommy's place, and she knew that he hadn't really wanted her to stay over, but she had anyways. And know she was starting to regret her stubbornness.

She could hear the muffled sound of music coming from his office. All the other lights in the house were out, but there was a soft glow coming from under the door, and she knew he was in there. She could feel it inside her, and she could see it when she looked at him. His mind wasn't with her, and it hadn't been for a long time.

She stood in the middle of the hallway, just staring at the door, with the darkness surrounding her. She couldn't make out the words, but she could hear his soft groans of frustration. Where had her Tommy Q gone?

_The hands I hold belong to somebody else  
>I bet they're not so cold to somebody else<br>It's tough to be alone on a shelf, worse to fall in love by yourself_

She listened to the song, feeling her own tears pool as she heard the pain in Jude's voice. The song was brilliant, but to her, so untrue. Jude sang about needing to find someone else, someone like Tommy. But it had been staring her in the face for months now, ever since Jude's birthday, she still had Tommy, and Lilly was sure that Jude had always had him.

She jumped back when she heard the door open. Tommy was standing there, looking more furious and heartbroken than anyone she had ever seen. She knew that he wouldn't like her in his office, going through his things. But she had heard the tune of the song, over and over again, and she knew she had to hear the words he listened to everyday.

"What are you doing in here?" Tommy asked, his voice was soft, but she could tell that the battle was taking place in his head, that his anger was directed at himself, not her.

"I'm sorry." She whispered. "This song, it's hers."

All he did was nod his head. He had been so distance the last few weeks, but she hadn't wanted to see it until now. She hadn't wanted to admit the truth, but now she was left with no choice. She reached over and held but the other CD, the older one with unfamiliar hand writing, reading 'I Still Love You'. The song she had listened to in his car that day.

"And this one?" she asked. "I foolishly thought it was for me." She laughed sadly.

"She wrote it four years ago." Tommy took the seat next to her, reaching for her hands. "I'm so sorry." He had tears in his eyes, and she didn't doubt his feelings at all. She could see how hard it was for him.

"I feel so stupid, I mean, you've been pulling away for months." Lilly allowed him to hold her hands, they felt warm in his larger ones, but she couldn't help but wonder how he felt holding hers. "I knew, I think I've always known, deep down. I just didn't want to admit it."

"No." Tommy said shaking his head, freeing one hand to wipe her tears away.

But she could feel it coming, she could feel the end lingering in the air, in her stomach.

"The way you look at her, you've never looked at me like that, or even watched me the way you watch her." Lilly smiled. "It's the truth Tommy, I'm seeing it, now you just need to admit it."

"She's leaving, so it doesn't matter." He whispered, pulling her closer to him, resting his forehead on hers.

But she shook her own head in response, and choked back a sob. "If she's leaving what are you doing here?" she whispered, pulling back to look at him. She needed to be strong to get through this, to see it through to the end.

He was stunned, it was easy to see by the surprise on his face. Her words were a shock to him, and she knew it.

"But-" she cut him off.

"I know, it's okay." She forced herself to smile, to assure him that he could leave.

He pressed his lips to her forehead and lingered for a moment, before pulling away. "Thank you." He whispered before leaving. And she knew that was all she could ever get from him again. Tom Quincy had belonged to somebody else, to Jude Harrison.

_When the one you love belongs to somebody else  
>When the one you love, when the one you love<br>When the one you love belongs to somebody else_


	3. I'll Remember

The words cut deep, deeper than he had expected. He would sit in the studio and could still picture her standing on the other side of the glass, her cheeks stained with tears and make-up,, her black dress clinging to her small frame, and her hair in perfect curls hanging down her back. The only thing he couldn't picture was her eyes. When she had first left he wanted to forget everything about her, but her dazzling blue eyes wouldn't fade, but now for the life of him he couldn't remember them or how sad they looked. It had been two months since that night but he could still see her. He hit replay on her song, the last song she would sing.

Once she had returned to London her label made it official, Jude Elizabeth Harrison was on a break with no immediate plans to return to the studio. He didn't know what was more heart breaking, her final song to him or the fact that she had truly quit.

He could feel his eyes pool with tears again as he listened to the song, to her words. It had been so hard for him to focus on anything else, because even when the song wasn't playing he could still hear her, her pain. It wasn't fair to the people around him and that was frustrating because he had other people he needed to think about, one person that needed him.

The knock on the door made him quickly turn the song off and rub his face in both frustration and to hid his tears.

"Lilly is on line 3." Sadie's voice filled the room.

"You're not the receptionist, why are you delivering messages?" Tommy snapped. It was wrong but his frustration leaked out everywhere now, he had no control. Everyone around him had become use to it, he was Tommy after all, his mood swings were worse than a pregnant woman.

"Because it's Sunday, Darius and I have a conference call with Paris this afternoon." Sadie didn't respond to his tone. She only raised an eyebrow at him. "Why are you here?"

"I work here." He said motioning for her to leave the room. He had no real reason to be there, no work to do, not to record, but he always felt better sitting in studio A. If he hadn't seen the blinking light on the phone, he would have forgotten why Sadie had come into the studio. "Hello?"

"Hey honey, I just got called to do a shoot in New York, the guy they had flaked. So I'm heading to the airport." The woman sounded breathless and Tommy figured she was rushing around her apartment to fill a suitcase.

"Oh okay." It was a relief to know that she'd be away for a few days. He had been horrible towards her the last two months and he needed this time to get his head on straight.

"I know you're busy, but could you go by the church tomorrow and drop off the guest list? They asked for it last week and I haven't had the time." He could hear the stress in her voice. They had decided not to get a wedding planner because Lilly was sure she could handle planning the wedding herself.

"Yeah, of course, anything for you." He nodded, his stomach got tight at the idea of the church. "Have a safe flight and call me when you can." He didn't give her the chance to say anything else before hanging up. All he wanted to hear where Jude's words and the tears in her voice.

He sat in the swivel chair, turning slightly side to side. Lilly had been gone for two days when his prays had been answered. Kwest had shown up at his door with the simple message that he'd been told Tommy needed a friend. He loved Lilly for that, she was able to see that things he needed, and could easily help him without asking.

Now Tommy had someone he could share the song with, someone that would understand, and be on his side.

"Wow." Kwest rubbed the sides of his face. It was the fourth time they had listened to the song and each time it seemed to be more heartbreaking, almost as if the breaks and cracks in Jude's voice were truly her heart shattering. "This song, it's amazing."

"It's her last." Tommy told him. He had already relived the events that had taken place. "She stood right there, and in one take, left me with this."

"On her birthday?" he had been invited to the party, but hadn't been able to come due to work. "Don't misunderstand this, but wow, you really broke her."

"I know." He agreed.

"So what are we gonna do?" Kwest asked after a moment.

"What do you mean what are we gonna do? I'm getting married next month!" he exclaimed. That was what it was coming back too. He loved Lilly, she was his life now, but that didn't stop the girl from his past to still haunt him.

"Yeah but look at you T, you're a mess. This whole thing clearly means something."

Tommy knew he was right. If it didn't mean anything, he wouldn't care, and he couldn't admit that he did care, because he felt like it would mean he didn't care enough about Lilly.

"Is that why you came?" Tommy asked, he wanted to know what had been said to get him there.

"All I can say is I got a message saying you needed a friend." Kwest had told him that before, but wouldn't say anymore. "So what are we gonna do, write something back?"

The two sat there brain storming ideas until they came up with the only thing that seemed good enough. It would be more meaningful to both Tommy and Jude.

"This doesn't mean I love Lilly any less." Tommy stated.

"I'm not questioning your feelings towards her." Kwest said putting his hands up. "Let's lay it down. I'll Remember You, Bob Dylan cover." He spoke into the microphone before controlling the soundboard.

_I'll remember you  
>When I've forgotten all the rest<br>You to me were true  
>You to me were the best<em>

How could she have ever asked him that because even if he wanted to he could never forget her. She had been the girl that had opened up his heart and soul. The girl he allowed himself to love again after everything he had been through. She had accepted him and all his flaws at the age of 15. Her love had been so simple and honest that it was the most real thing he had ever had in his life. She had changed him without even realizing or meaning too. He changed to be good enough for her.

_When there is no more  
>You cut to the core<br>Quicker than anyone I knew  
>When I'm all alone<br>In the great unknown  
>I'll remember you.<em>

"You're a selfish ass Tom Quincy." He could still hear her screaming that at him. Her face flushed with anger and annoyance. "Not everything in this world, or in my world revolves around Lil Tommy Q." it was something she often reminded him of. Her insults would fly and she was always able to bring him back to reality, to remind him that he was just one man, one of no more importance than anyone else. She had been the first and only girl to treat him that way. She could insult him in a way that didn't change his feelings for her, and she was always ready to call him on his bull shit.

_I'll remember you  
>At the end of the trail<br>I had so much left to do  
>I had so little time to fail<br>There's some people that  
>You don't forget<br>Even though you've only seen'm  
>One time or two<br>When the roses fade  
>And I'm in the shade<br>I'll remember you._

He had picture his life with her, everything he wanted he wanted to do with her and to be by her side through everything she wanted to do. She had told him that he was her anchor to reality, and he loved her. But their relationship was short. Neither of them truly had enough time together and had both turned and ran scared when it got hard. Tommy ran when he realized she loved both Tommy Q and Tom DuTious. And Jude had ran from him when he had wanted to make her his. They never gave themselves the time to succeed or fail.

He had meet some many people in his life time, and he knew that he would never be able to remember all of them, he had proven that to her when she asked for a list of all the women he had been with. He couldn't even remember all of their names, but it was part of the life they had. He knew that if he had to forget everyone he knew or had meet, Jude would always be the one person he would never be able to forget. She had touched his heart in more way than one, and he would never want to forget her.

_Didn't I, didn't I try to love you ?  
>Didn't I, didn't I try to care ?<br>Didn't I sleep, didn't I weep beside you  
>With the rain blowing in your hair.<em>

He knew that he could have done so much more for her. When they were together, they were amazing, they were in love, and when they were apart, he broke her heart. The night he had called her poison still haunted him. He could be so cruel to her, for no real reason, and he knew that was part of the reason she was able to leave him behind. He had always carelessly thrown her away when things got hard, he never tried to fight, maybe he never loved her enough. But he knew that he did love her.

_I'll remember you  
>When the wind blows through the piney wood<br>It was you who came right through  
>It was you who understood<br>Though I'd never say  
>That I done it the way<br>That you'd have liked me to  
>In the end<br>My dear sweet friend  
>I'll remember you.<em>

"In my opinion, you sound better than Bob Dylan." Kwest offered as the song ended.

Tommy wasn't sure if it was the right choice of song. Could he call her his dear sweet friend, would she understand what he was saying if he did that? But he knew that his words to her would connect to this song. He had told her that he would remember, and this song explained that he would never be able to forget her, not until the end.

"What?" Kwest asked, seeing the look.

"I don't know if that says everything." Tommy sighed, looking over the list of songs he had pulled. Kwest had wanted him to write something, something real and true. But Tommy couldn't do that, not to Lilly. Plus he was scared of what he might say if he wrote something to Jude.

"Want to pull her catalogue?" Kwest asked.

"Yeah, there's one I want to listen too." Tommy told him. "But I think I should do it alone."

"Alright, let me know if you need anything." Kwest said before leaving.


	4. I Still Love You

Okay, the last part was Tommy's POV, so it's happening at the same time as Lilly's. There are cross overs in the two. This part is also from Tommy's POV. I hope that makes more sense. When I started writing them, they were all going to be separate stories, but I thought it would be easier to just bunch them all together. Sorry for the confusion.

* * *

><p>Tommy and Kwest had spent countless hours in the studio making the song he was now listening to. But Tommy knew that something was still missing, and he could hear the tune in his head, one that had replaced her haunting words, a song that she had given to him so many years ago. He could almost picture her in the studio laying it down by herself, something that he was doing to do for her now.<p>

_If we walk away now  
>There's no turning around<br>Gotta say what I mean  
>While you're here with me<br>I'm not sure I'll find words  
>To cover the hurt<br>That I see in your eyes  
>But I gotta try<em>

He knew that she wasn't there with him, and he wasn't even sure how he was going to get this to her, but this was the only thing he could do now. The only way that he could tell her.

"What?" Sadie asked, not looking up from her desk.

"Where's Jude?" Tommy asked, sitting down across from her.

"Excuse me?" she looked up from her papers.

"I need to find her Sadie, I need to give her something." Tommy sighed. He knew this was wrong, he shouldn't have come to ask where she was.

"She doesn't want to come to your wedding Tom, so save the invitation for a scrap book." Sadie shook her head looking back down at her papers.

"If she had any common sense she'd be there." Tommy rolled his eyes at her comment.

Sadie slammed her pen down hard on her desk, looking back up at him with fire in her eyes.

"It would prove to the tabloids that she's not on this break because of my wedding." Tommy quickly saw that he had crossed a line.

"Tommy, want to know a secret, since you're the only one that doesn't seem to get it?" Sadie asked, pushing herself back from her desk, and going around her desk to stand in front of him. "She is taking a break because of you." She shoved her finger into her chest. "So don't come and ask me where to find my sister!"

Tommy stepped back from her, holding up his hands in a sign of peace. He didn't want to fight with her, and he didn't want to hear what she was saying to him.

"Please." He knew that this was the one time to use all the real emotions that he was feeling, the confusion and pain he felt. He could only hope that if Sadie could see that, then she would help him.

"Even if I knew where she was, I wouldn't tell you." Sadie shook her head before going back to her desk. "And don't' bother asking Speid or Jamie. She's made her clear she wants a break, from everything."

"Someone will tell me." He said turning to leave her office in a hurry.

"Oh no you don't Tom." She quickly followed behind him. "Leave her be!"

"I just need to see her!" he whispered harshly at her when she grabbed his arm, trying to stop him.

"Tommy?" A small voice asked, one that brought him back to where he was, where he should be.

_I know rocks turn to sand  
>And hearts can change hands<br>And you're not to blame  
>When the sky fills with rain<br>But if we stay or walk away  
>There's one thing that's true<br>I still love you  
>I still love you<em>

No one would tell him anything, he couldn't find her, and the people he had through were friends, weren't being very friendly on the matter of Jude. He had taken to looking through her fan sites, to see where she had last been spotted. He knew it was ridiculous, but it was his last hope at finding her, and putting his mind to rest. But he had been lucky, he found a post along with a picture. Jude had been spotted at the airport just a few days ago. She was back in Toronto.

"Haha." Tommy laughed sitting down at the table next to Kwest. "She's in Toronto."

"Who?" Kwest asked, looking up from his computer.

"Jude, Sadie refused to tell me where she was." Tommy smiled, soon this would be over.

"Well yeah, I could have told you that." Kwest said shaking his head.

"What?" Tommy asked.

"Tommy?" Lilly's voice called from his front door.

"In the kitchen." He called back, still glaring at Kwest.

"Oh, Kwest, I didn't know you were here. I didn't think we'd see you until the wedding." The girl smiled carrying in a black garment bag.

"What do you mean you didn't know he was here, didn't you call him?" Tommy said kissing her cheek before continuing to glare at his friend.

"No, but I got your tux for this weekend, I've got to head to the flower shop, and pick up some stuff for my shoot later." She gave him another quick kiss before leaving the kitchen with a small wave to Kwest. "Bye!"

"She didn't call you?" Tommy asked, closing Kwest's computer. Tommy could tell from the look in his eyes that Kwest was holding back a lot more than he should. "Who told you." It wasn't a question, it was a demand, one that put their friendship on the line.

"Man, she called after seeing a picture of you. She was worried, and I don't blame her." Kwest sighed. "She didn't want me to say anything, in fact she asked me not to say anything. I respect her enough to do that."

"You've known where she was this whole time." Tommy shook his head. He had been so sure that Lilly had been the one to call his friend, the one that was looking out for him. But to find out that it was _her_, the one girl that he couldn't stop thinking about.

"She's leaving next week, going to Asia." Kwest told him. "But before you ask, I don't know where she's at, we've only emailed a few times. I'll ask her if I can send her something, cause I doubt she'd open anything from you."

_Can you search down inside  
>Let go of your pride?<br>If I forget trying to win  
>And just let you in<br>I didn't travel this far  
>To watch it all fall apart<br>So give me your hand  
>And take a chance<em>

He stared down at the number. He knew it was all he had to go off now. Kwest had tried to send her the cd, the mix of songs that he hoped would explain everything, but he had no way of knowing if she had gotten them, or actually listened to them.

The small silver phone in his hand felt hot, almost like it was going to burn him. And he knew that it was wrong to do this, to stand in Sadie's office and use her phone. But they had all left him with no choice.

He watched at the screen quickly changed to a picture of Jude. He could hear the soft ring, and then her voice.

"Hey Sadie, sorry I didn't call you back yesterday, I went to that church by the house, the one we use to go to. It just helps me clear my head."

He couldn't say anything. He didn't know what to say to her. His stomach turned with guilt, but he couldn't help but smile, because he knew where she was.

"Sadie?" Jude asked. "If you pocket dialed me again, so help you, I'm going to call you in the middle of the night."

He couldn't help but chuckle at that, and he heard her take in a sharp breath.

"Tommy." She whispered.

He was ready to apologize, to say anything, but with his mouth hanging open, words ready, the phone clicked off.

_I know rocks turn to sand  
>And hearts can change hands<br>And you're not to blame  
>When the sky fills with rain<br>But if we stay or walk away  
>There's one thing that's true<br>I still love you_

Tommy stood looking up at the church, the large stone building was intimidating, with the statues, flowers, and everything else that made it look like a place of worship. When he had gotten married the first time he had been so drunk that he could hardly remember it the next day. And he was sure if it wasn't for all the liquid encouragement in his system that night, he never would have married Portia. But even that wedding hadn't taken place in a church. This wedding was real, and he could hear the vows in his head, the word forever seemed to scream at him. But a passing car brought him out of his thoughts.

He looked back around, seeing Lilly standing at the top of the stairs on her phone. She had picked the church, and he had mindlessly agreed to it, like he had with everything else. He didn't want to be bother with the wedding details, even before Jude's reappearance in his life. The wedding just seemed like the next thing to do, even if he was scared shitless. He could feel his muscles tense up as Lilly motioned for him to join her at the top of the stairs. He climbed them slowly, trying to think back to the last time he was in a church. But half way up, in mid step he stopped. The last church he was in was with Jude. They had gone to look for places to record her third album, the one she later ruined, and he had to remix. He had admitting to loving her in that church, they had started in a church.

He was frozen now looking up at his future wife, while his mind pictured Jude standing there instead, waiting for him. It was easier to climb the stairs thinking it was her, he would go anywhere with her, or for her. But when Lilly's voice broke his thoughts he had to kick himself as his stomach filled with guilt. He shouldn't be thinking about Jude. He was going to marry Lilly.

_Riding with me as close as before  
>Whatever happens, I won't ask for more<br>Here in my heart from now 'til the end  
>Flame out or fly, we have to try again<em>

"If she's leaving, what are you doing here?" It felt like everything around him paused at her words. He couldn't have heard her right. But as he looked into her eyes.

"But-" he wanted to explain things to her, to try and make everything better.

"I know, it's okay." She cut her off. To Tommy she seemed unnaturally calm, almost like she had seen it coming from the very beginning, and maybe she had. But it was so hard to look at her. He had promised her so many things, and here is was, taking them all back, and she was encouraging him to do it.

But he felt like the weight had all been lifted from his shoulder. He suddenly didn't feel angry anymore, all of the frustration he had was gone, making him feel like him again. The voices in his head were silent for the first time in months, and he couldn't hear Jude's haunting song. Lilly was freeing him, freeing him from everything he had been feeling guilty over.

He pressed his lips to her forehead, he wanted for comfort her, to make her feel better. But he couldn't do anything for her. She had given him everything, and he was taking everything from her. "Thank you." He whispered before getting up and quickly leaving her there. He couldn't watch as she broke down, realizing what her words meant.

All he could do was look for her, for Jude. Just like at her birthday, all he could do was think about her, and how much pain she was in. at her party he was worried about her, thinking that something had happened, something to make her want to leave her music. He hadn't once thought that it could have been him. But now he was looking for her for a different reason. Now he wanted to take away all her pain, and hold her in his arms. He wanted to kiss away her tears, and breathe her in. The idea of going to a church with her wasn't terrifying.

_I still  
>I know rocks turn to sand<br>And hearts can change hands  
>And you're not to blame<br>When the sky fills with rain  
>But if we stay or walk away<br>There's one thing that's true  
>I still love you<br>Yeah, I still love you_

_If we stay or walk away  
>There's one thing that's true<br>I still love you  
>I still love you<em>


	5. My happy ending

This is just to tie everything up. Somehow I thought I would feel better about writing in a happy ending, but now I feel like I ruined something perfect. Hmm..oh well.

* * *

><p>She turned the case over and over, staring at the CD. She had figured he would try and send her the song, as some sort of punishment for her words. But he didn't need to. The first thing she did when she returned to London was lock herself in the studio. She spent four days recording that song, perfecting it, allowing it to become her reality. She gave it to her label but asked that they don't release it until a year after his wedding. She knew that she would need more time before she could hear it again. But now he had sent this to her. She knew when she read the email from Kwest that Tommy was the one looking for her. Sadie and Jamie had both warned her. And the phone call she had received just hours ago, confirmed it all.<p>

With her stomach tight with nerves, she placed the CD in her computer and waited, waited for the words that would make her watery eyes spill over. At first she wasn't sure it was right, it wasn't what she thought it was. She knew the tune right away, how couldn't she, it was Bob Dylan, her father's favorite. But the words didn't put her at ease, he had told her that he would remember, and now he was saying he could never forget.

When the song ended and the next one started, she quickly hit the pause button. She knew this tune as well, she knew it well because she had written it. But she couldn't listen to it, not to him singing those words to her. She reached for her keys and shoved away from the table. Two more days and she would be on a plane to the other side of the world.

The church was quite, not eerie but peaceful. As she slipped in the back door, she could hear the ceremony already in progress. She wondered how many weddings she had attended in the last few days. She found it peaceful to sit and watch the happy couple, promising to be together for the rest of their lives. Forever seemed like such a long time.

"You've made it to another one." The young minster said from next to her. Today there was someone else officiating the wedding. "I believe this makes five."

"It's peaceful." Jude smiled at him. It was peaceful; she loved the sound of the organ more than she did the people making the promises.

"You come to a lot of wedding for something that doesn't believe in the concept of marriage." He chuckled lightly.

"I never said I don't believe in it, I just don't think it's for me. If God had intended for us to be monogamous, then why create so many people?" she asked. It was a conversation they had over and over since he had spotted her at the third wedding, or when she would come in to just play the organ.

"God didn't create so many, man did." He pointed out. "There is a Jewish/Catholic wedding, will you be coming?"

"No, I'm leaving, I'm going to back pack through Asia." Jude smiled as they watched the happy couple make their way towards the back of the church.

"Do you think you'll find the answers you're searching for there?"

Could she find the answers she was searching for? What was she even searching for, she wasn't sure. She knew that if she would explain the things that had happened to her in the last six years that he would tell her she was running away. And maybe that was what she was doing, it was what she had become so well at doing. Running away from Tommy was what she did best after all.

"I don't know." She whispered before following the rest of the people out into the spring air. She held her breath making her way quickly back to the farm house. She had to listen to the song, all the way through.

Jude settled into the first class seat, shifting until she found the right spot. She had taken a muscle relaxer before going through security, and she could feel it starting to take effect. Her whole body seemed to relax into her seat as she watched other people board the plane. She had everything she was going to need for the long flight, and a few things to keep her entertained if the muscle relaxer didn't make her sleep. She gazed out the window, watching as the bags in a nearby plane were loaded into the belly. She could feel her eyes growing heavy, and it made her feel better. She hated flying, and it was even worse flying alone.

She could feel someone take the seat next to her, and she suddenly wondered if she should have bought out the seat next to her. That would have been to over the top. She kept her focus on the other plane until she felt the person shift, lifting up the arm rest, causing her to wish she had purchased the other seat. But as she turned to address the person, she could feel her stomach, and her throat tighten.

Tommy.

"How did you-Why are you-" she wasn't sure what to ask, what to say.

"You're leaving." Tommy said looking at her.

She could tell that he had been crying, his eyes were bloodshot and puffy. She had never seen him look like this, worse than when he had gone home to take care of his mother. He looked like he was going through hell, and it made her feel worse, because she knew she was the cause of all his turmoil. "Tommy, what are you doing?" she whispered.

"Those songs, I asked Kwest." He was confused. He had thought it was plain as day, as clear as the sky after it snows.

"Yeah, I got the CD." Jude shook her head. She didn't want to believe it, she didn't want to even allow herself to have the slightest bit of hope. Tommy was getting married, he had fallen in love with someone that could give him everything she hadn't.

"Good." Tommy sighed, reaching for her hand. He knew that she was hesitant to give it to him, but he needed to feel that she was truly next to him now. So many years ago they had planned to do this, to go off together to backpack through Asia, but their careers had gotten in the way. This was their chance, their final chance to get everything right and he wasn't going to give it up, or mess it up. The blond haired blue eyed beauty looking back at him was simply confused, and he knew it. But as he sat there staring at her, he could feel her body relax more and more with each passing minute.

"I don't understand." She finally said softly. And she didn't. She didn't understand why he was there, or why he was holding her hand. But she could feel herself growing hazier, her breathes becoming more even, and sleep was starting to pull at her.

It was so simple, to hear her voice, and see her smile, it was all he needed to give her that look, her look. "Jude." He whispered back.

Her smile was heavy, and she knew it would be pointless to try and fight off the medicated sleeping she was falling into. "My look." She reached up and cupped the side of his face with her free hand. "That's my look."

Tommy wanted to laugh. He knew that she must have taken something, because he was watching her fade quickly. He knew that they would have a lot to talk about, a lot to work through. But the only thing that mattered to him now, was that she was still his girl. He pulled her over, hugging her, allowing his lips to brush across her forehead, breath in the sweet scent of her hair. "I still love you, and that's never going to change." He whispered unsure if she was even still awake.

"Good, because I could never find another Little Tommy Q." Jude whispered back before her eyes closed all the way. She had sung that she would find someone like him, but in reality there is no one like him, no one that could fill her heart the way he did.


End file.
